The author of this essay looks at the book Nincstelenek, as something very special; the author of the book struggles with himself, because he wants to understand why he has been different from everybody else from his childhood. He must re-createhis childhood self to be able to give account about a very deep and severe trauma he could cope with any means. He wants to understand himself at last. He tries to create a distance from his childhood self, and from the world where he felt alienated as a child. Lacking that distance he could not live further. But not even the prime numbers could help him, though there is an exact order among them; and the design of the old house could not help him either. Szilárd Borbély was not able to stop the confusion of his life.

The author of this essay looks at the book Nincstelenek, as something very special; the author of the book struggles with himself, because he wants to understand why he has been different from everybody else from his childhood. He must re-createhis childhood self to be able to give account about a very deep and severe trauma he could cope with any means. He wants to understand himself at last. He tries to create a distance from his childhood self, and from the world where he felt alienated as a child. Lacking that distance he could not live further. But not even the prime numbers could help him, though there is an exact order among them; and the design of the old house could not help him either. Szilárd Borbély was not able to stop the confusion of his life.